The Official SobekPundit Blogger Interview: Dave in Texas

This week I'm joined by Dave in Texas. You'll note I didn't use the phrase "I asked Dave in Texas to join me," because the process was more along the lines of Dave pestering me about getting the word out about the pool he's putting in his backyard. I tried to explain to him that I've effectively reduced my readership to the odd Google search for "Tom +Morello +Douchebag," but, well, he's from Texas so I guess he just doesn't catch on too quickly.




Dave: Thanks for inviting me, Sobek.




Sobek: And obviously he doesn't read the opening paragraphs to my Blogger Interviews, either. Anyway, Dave I understand you're putting a pool in your backyard.




Dave: I'm glad you brought that up, Sobek. For updates, you can check out my blog here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and...




Sobek: Slow down there, cowboy. I'm sure both of my readers are really interested in your pool, but...




Dave: Just wait 'till you see the next batch of pictures! They're gonna be awesome.




Sobek: Fantastic. Actually, I'm more interested in the backhoe you used. I think it's looking at me.




Scoop: Hi-ya, Sobek!




Sobek: Holy crap, it talks!




Scoop: Hee hee! You're silly! Let's be friends!




Dave: Yeah, heckuva thing. I've also got a cement mixer, a steamroller and a crane that talk. It makes the work go a lot better.




Sobek: ...




Dave: ...




Sobek: So, basically ...




Dave: ...




Sobek: So I'm on acid, right? This must be some kind of hallucination or something.




Dave: No, not at all. See, when I first rented the backhoe, it was just like any normal piece of machinery. But while I was digging in my backyard, I found this:









Sobek: Is that the necronomicon?




Dave: I think so. Anyway, I opened it up, and all my machines started talking and playing games and stuff. And only a few minor side effects.




Sobek: Such as?




Dave: Undead hordes.




Sobek: So ... no big deal, really.




Dave: Heh. Nope.




Sobek: ...




Dave: ...




Sobek: ...




Dave: I'm just screwing with you, Sobek. You seriously believed that when I found a 1300 year old text, bound in human skin, with the power to summon Yog Sothoth and Chthulu, that I opened it?




Sobek: Well, I, uh...




Dave: Without saying the magic words first? How irresponsible do you think I am?




Sobek: Oh, in that case ... So, what are the magic words?




Dave: Klatoo, barada ...




Sobek: ...




Dave: I think the third one starts with "nik."




Sobek: I see ...




Dave: Nicotine? That doesn't sound right.




Sobek: Great. Anyway, I have to kick you out of house and board up the doors and windows now, but it's been great.




Dave: Nicholas? That can't be it.




Sobek: Pretty crazy stuff buried in the ground over there in Texas. The only thing buried in my backyard are hobos with caved-in skulls.

Other SobekPundit Blogger Interviews:
John from WuzzaDem
Ace of Spades
Dave from Garfield Ridge
Oliver Willis
The Therapist
SondraK
Protein Wisdom
VodkaPundit
Jack M.
Bohemian Conservative
Michelle Malkin
Jennifer from Demure Thoughts
Right Wing Sparkle
Six Meat Buffet
Llama Butchers
7 Deadly Sins
Instapundit
Are You Conservative?

Retired Geezer

Innocent Bystanders

Mr. Twisted

Next Week:
Yahtzee!

Defining Victory in the War on Terror

Writing in London-based ash-Sharq al-Awsat, Bernard Haykel has a column about Hezbollah's definition of "victory" against the Israelis. It's a fascinating look into the mind of what turns out to be a pragmatic terrorist:

"Pay attention, for example, to the way in which Sayyid Nasrallah has defined victory in his typically low-key style, which contrasts sharply with the old-style and bombastic claims of Arab leaders such as Jamal Abdul-Nasser and Saddam Hussein. Sayyid Nasrallah is very clear and precise that Israel cannot be defeated militarily. Hezbollah, he says, 'cannot shoot down Israel’s F-16 fighter jets,' but what it can do is bleed Israel’s military forces, harm its economy and extract political concessions, any of which constitutes a victory. Victory, in other words, is a new psychological state for Arabs and Muslims, as well as for the 'defeated' Israelis, and bears no relationship to the actual physical or material costs of war."

That's a far cry from the "push the Jews into the sea" rhetoric that you still hear from Iran's Ahmadinejad.

To the extent that Haykel is correct, all recent proposals for a cease-fire would be a total disaster (although that's clearly not Haykel's point). Nasrallah is hiding in relative comfort and ease somewhere in downtown Damascus, a guest of Bashar Assad's thuggish government, in no danger whatsoever of the conflict coming to his own doorstep. He can calmly discuss "moral victory" in spite of Arab deaths because there's no chance his own life is in danger. In other words, he can calmly view the mounting Lebanese casualties as necessary, just to show the Israelis how tenacious he is. And if Israel agrees to a cease-fire -- well, then Nasrallah is right. he wins his moral victory, he doesn't have to care about dead Lebanese civilians, and he gains respect in the Arab world.

The only way Israel can actually pull a victory out of the current conflict is to break the backs of those firing rockets at Israeli civilians. Anything less than a complete rout of Hizbollah means Israel loses, the attacks will continue, and they are in a worse position than when they started.

That's why I'm happy to see the Lebanese Prime Minister isn't going along with Hizbollah on this: he rejected a UN peace plan that was backed by the Bush administration. Obviously he didn't do so because he wants Israel to blow up more stuff in southern Lebanon, but the result is the same. No cease fire: more explosions.

Part of me wonders whether the Lebanese government doesn't see eye to eye with Israel on this. Lebanon doesn't like Hizbollah in its southern territory any more than Israel does. Hizbollah is essentially its own government, and Beirut has little influence there, except to the extent of Hizbollah's own representation in the Lebanese parliament. But the government is not strong enough to root out the terrorists by itself. That's where the Israelis come in. They give Beirut plausible deniability, and Beirut can ostensibly condemn Israel's actions, while enjoying the repercussions thereof.

As I have said before, war is a terrible thing. But when it becomes necessary (as it sometimes does), you must fight to win, and to win decisively, so you don't have to keep fighting the same conflict over and over again. Israel has already achieved this to some extent. It was so incredibly effective in the six-day war that neighboring governments (such as Egypt) fear more conflict. Syria needs to learn that lesson, as well.

The Hizbollah Propoganda Machine

Ace, Rusty and a host of others (follow their links) have done a man's job in following a story that a Reuter's photographer, Adnan Hajj, has been manipulating photos of the Israeli assault on Beirut to make the Israelis look bad.

Well I don't want to miss this particular traffic train at the station, so I did a little surfing, and I think I found yet more evidence of Adnan Hajj's shenanigans. Look at this picture of some Israeli soldiers, presumably on their way to a bank, or to eat some Palestinian children, or dominate the media, or whatever it is that Israelis do:



Looks pretty much standard, right? But I copied the photo onto my computer so I could zoom in and get a closer look, and that's when some odd things start showing up. I don't know any actual Jew names, so I'll just name the four guys in front after some of the villains in G.I. Joe. From left to right, I'll call them Zartan, Destro, Cobra Commander, and Baroness.

Here's a close-up of Zartan:



Notice the line between the bottom of the helmet and the top of the lizard monster/Israeli's head: it's a little wavy. I'm not sure what to make of this just yet, but it's interesting to note.

Okay, now let's take a look at Tomax (Update: reader AAkbar e-mailed me and told me this one is actually Destro. I'm still working on verifying that):



Again, notice the line between the helmet and the top of the thing's head. It looks a little wavy. Update: Reader Mujahid86 writes to point out that Tomax and Zartan are actually the same lizard creature! Update to the update: Reader ululululululugirl18 writes to say that most lizard-people actually look pretty much the same, so for now I'm going to call that one undetermined.

Okay, let's check out Cobra Commander and Baroness:



Since these two are actually in the same close-up, I should have named them Tomax and Xamot. But the post doesn't really work if I don't have a Cobra Commander, so I'm going to re-name Zartan as Cobra Commander, the second guy is Destro (editor's note: he actually was Destro at first), and the last two are Tomax and Xamot. I hate to lose Zartan, but he was always kind of peripheral to the main storyline, so I think we can do without him.

Anyway, there are a couple of interesting things about this picture. First, notice the conspicuous red arrows that suddenly appeared. You can't see them until you zoom in like that. They must be some kind of crypto-Zionist code or something that I can't figure out. Anyone here know if that's what Hebrew looks like?

Update: Reader Muhammad Sheikh Muhammad writes to say:

"If ululululululugirl18 really is a girl, then she is a filthy whore who deserves to have her throat slit for blasphemy, for posting on the Infidel's internet. Also, Baroness and Destro seem to have the exact same helmet, and we can't seem to see Baroness' legs behind Cobra Commander's body. Praise Allah."

He must have written this before I changed the names around, so when he says Baroness, he means Xamot, and when he says Destro, he actually means Destro, who I originally mistook for Tomax. But now that it appears that Destro and Xamot are in fact the very same person, I think it would be more appropriate to name them Tomax and Xamot, and the first and third people are now Destro and Cobra Commander. Just to keep things simple.

Conclusion: I think it's clear that Mr. Hajj is trying to reveal to the world the threat posed by the Jewish lizardmen, and in his zeal for "The Truth," he wanted to bend "the truth" just a little bit. Now that I think about it, it does seem kind of strange that the crafty Joooooooooooos would have let him get a picture revealing their true forms.

A Brief Conversation on the Eve of SobekPundit's Birthday

Mrs. Sobek: Honey, I made a cake for your birthday!





Sobek: Wow, that thing is huge.





Mrs. Sobek: That's because, as a special treat for your 4,000th birthday, I got you a cake with a stripper inside.





Sobek: HOT DIGGITY!!!





Mrs. Sobek: I knew you'd like it.





Sobek: ...





Mrs. Sobek: ...





Sobek: So, uh, when does the stripper jump out?





Mrs. Sobek: I don't know. I don't think she's moved at all since I baked the thing yesterday.





Sobek: Baked?





Mrs. Sobek: She sure did put up a fuss when I forced her into the gigantic cake mold and poured in the cake mix.





Sobek: ...





Mrs. Sobek: ...





Sobek: ...





Mrs. Sobek: ...





Sobek: So, basically, there's a dead stripper in my birthday cake.





Mrs. Sobek: Now that you mention it, I was kind of curious how she was supposed to survive in an oven at 350 degrees.





Sobek: I see.





Mrs. Sobek: ...





Sobek: ...





Mrs. Sobek: ...





Sobek: ...





Mrs. Sobek: I notice the presence of a dead stripper in your cake isn't exactly stopping you from picking at it.





Sobek: Well I'm not eating any parts that are actually touching the corpse.





Mrs. Sobek: Fair enough. Happy birthday, sweetie. You don't look a day older than 3,500.





Sobek: Thanks, dear.