The Official SobekPundit Blogger Interview: Michelle Malkin
Kos: Hello, my name is Markos Moulitsas Zunigos, from the popular liberal blog, Daily Kos. I got an e-mail from some guy (?) named Sobek, asking me to do a blogger interview for him while he gets loaded up on cheap crank and races the cops to the Mexican border. I've never even heard of this Sobek fellow, but as I have a history of only supporting losers, I figured this was right up my alley.
He said I could interview any blogger I wanted, so I thought I'd break out the big guns and invite Michelle Malkin over, and she has graciously accepted. And by "graciously," I mean she was acting like less of a Saigon hooker than usual.
So with that introduction, welcome, Ms. Malkin.
Michelle: You need to change this picture. Right now.
Michelle: Because it's extremely insulting. I only agreed to do this because I think Sobek is one of the brightest stars on the internet today. I didn't realize I was coming here to get attacked by "Screw 'Em" Kos.
Kos: Well, the picture represents a larger truth, so I'm sticking with it. And speaking of larger truths, lets start with today's story of the KKKarl Rove propaganda machine pressuring the San Francisco Chronicle to distort a story about Iraqi casualties...
Michelle: Can you even read? The Chronicle writer acknowledged that the original headline was a blatant misrepresentation of...
Kos: Stop letting the actual facts get in the way of the larger picture.
Michelle: Speaking of pictures, you need to change this "picture" of me.
Kos: I guess the truth hurts. But let's get a second opinion. Maryland Lieutenant Governor Michael Steele, do you think the banana picture is a good one for Michelle?
Steele: You're lucky I can't reach through a blog and wrap my hands around your pathetic little neck.
Kos: You conservatives are so violent. Maybe we should see what Condi Rice thinks.
Condi: You're dog meat, pal.
Kos: Yeah, yeah. That's all I get out of you people: empty threats. How about you, TSL?
TSL: Huh? Do you even know who I am?
Michelle: That last one didn't make any sense at all. Markos, I have a feeling something pretty bad is going to happen to you, if you don't knock it off with the race-baiting.
Kos: I think not, you slant-eyed whore. I'm untouchable. I can be an obnoxious, racist little prick, and my hordes of syncophantic admirers will still donate money and shrieking hysteria to whatever doomed candidate I tell them to. And there's nothing you can do to stop me, race traitor.
Lisa: You're forgetting who you're dealing with, Kos.
Kos: Oh yeah?
Lisa: Yeah. Our Sith Master Rove taught us pyrokinesis, remember?
Kos: I have no idea what you're talking about. All I know is...
Michelle: Thank you. What a waste of time that was.
Lisa: My pleasure. I'm going shopping. Wanna come?
Michelle: Sure, why not? I'm going to get some faux-alligator boots.
Lisa: I prefer crocodile.
Sobek: Hey everyone, I'm back.
Sobek: Um, what are these charred remains doing in my living room?
Other SobekPundit Blogger Interviews:
John from WuzzaDem
Ace of Spades
Dave from Garfield Ridge
I dunno. Whatever.
Picture of Kos courtesy of Bill from INDC.