Still Pissed Off About the Hawley-Smoot Tariff

Thursday, September 29, 2005

The Official SobekPundit Blogger Interview: The Therapist

Welcome to this week's Official SobekPundit Blogger Interview. We're joined today by Ron G., also known as The Therapist. His blog was formerly my one-stop shop for scathing political satire and bitching about low traffic, but it looks like he's recently decided to yield the floor to satirist Scott Ott. I'm okay with the change of format, just so long as he doesn't crap out on us altogether.

I'm also pleasantly surprised to learn The Therapist's real identity: Nikki Sixx, bass player for '80s hair band Motley Crue.

Sobek: Thanks for joining me, and if I may say so, I really liked "Dr. Feelgood."

Therapist: That's not my picture.

Sobek: Oh, you don't have to be shy. I'm a big fan, really.

Therapist: Seriously, I came here to talk about some important issues. Today Lousiana Governor Kathleen Blanco went to Congress and ...

Sobek: I'm sorry, I hope you don't mind me interrupting, but could I get you to sing "Dr. Feelgood" for me? That song totally rocks.

Therapist: Look, Sobek, you've got me confused with someone else. I don't even know that song.

Sobek: Oh, sure you do. "Rat-tailed Jimmy is a second hand hood/He deals out in Hollywood..."

Therapist: Come on, didn't you hear what Governor Blanco said today?

Sobek: Just once, man! Do you mind if I call you Nikki?

Therapist: [Sighs] Fine.
He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He's the one that makes you feel all right
He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He's gonna be your Frankenstein

Sobek: Thanks, that was awesome.

Therapist: I'm glad. Now as I was saying, in response to FEMA Director Michael Brown's critical...

Sobek: I'm sorry to interrupt again, but could you sing Dr. Feelgood?

Therapist: What?

Sobek: Come on, I love that song!

Therapist: I just sang it not thirty seconds ago!

Sobek: Please? Just do one verse, and then I'll let you talk about whatever you want, I swear.

Therapist: What are you asking me for, anyway. I'm not the singer, I play bass ... uh, I mean Nikki Sixx plays bass. You're thinking Vince Neal. Crap, I can't believe I just let that slip.

Sobek: Yeah, but I bet you always wanted to sing. Vince is just a pretty-boy glory-hog.

Therapist: Don't even get me started on that self-important little Nancy.

Sobek: Dr. Feelgood!

Therapist: Can't you at least ask for a different song? What about Girls, Girls, Girls, or maybe Kickstart My Heart?

Sobek: Never heard of them.

Therapist: What? They were some of our most popular songs!

Sobek: To tell you the truth, I never really listened to any of your albums. You all look like total mincing fairies. No offense.

Therapist: Wait a second, I come here to talk politics, and instead you reveal my true identity, make me sing Dr. Feelgood for you, insult Vince, and you don't even like our music?!?

Sobek: Uh, well, I do like Dr. ...

Therapist: Yeah, yeah, I figured that part out. Look, if it's all the same to you, I've got some things to do, so maybe I'd better get going.

Sobek: Wait, before you go, I have a surprise for you.

Therapist: Really?

Sobek: Yes. I invited all your old band mates for a surprise reunion!

Bret: Hey there.

Bobby: Are you ready to rock?

C.C.: Hey.

Therapist: What the ... Sobek, that's the wrong band! You got the guys from Poison!

Sobek: Come on, guys, do Dr. Feelgood!

Bret: Sobek, Nikki's right. We don't even do that song.

C.C.: I'm not sure I've even heard it.

Sobek: Don't give me that crap, I want Dr. Feelgood! It's really simple. Dun dun-dun-dun dun dun-da-dun-da-dun...

Bobby: Actually, I was interested to hear more about Governor Blanco. Can you believe the gall of that woman, with her "it's not the time for blame" crap? Maybe Congress should think long and hard about Louisiana's tradition of corrupt politics before signing a massive check over the Kathy "Committee" Blanco and her useless cronies.

Therapist: That's what I was trying to say.

Bobby: And don't even get me started on the media hypocrisy. If that had been a Republican governor, you know every single MSM headline would be condemning her for her evasiveness.

Sobek: So, you guys aren't going to do Dr. Feelgood?

C.C.: We're not Motley Crue, Sobek, we're Poison.

Sobek: There's a difference?

Bret: I'm outta here. This is so insulting to my dignity. I mean, I'm dressed like a freakin' woman, and my dignity has been insulted. I didn't think that was even possible.

C.C.: Who would have thought a man wearing pink lipstick had any dignity to insult?

Bobby: I'm sorry things didn't work out, Sobek, but we're going to be on our way.

Bret: See ya later.

Therapist: I'm leaving, too. I'll see you later, Sobek.

C.C.: Heh. Sobek, Bret has more pairs of blush pantyhose than you have books, and still you managed to insult his dignity. That's a special kind of achievement.

Sobek: Well, I do what I can. Hey C.C., before you go, can I ask one small favor?

C.C.: What's that?

Sobek: Tell me what the heck Unskinny Bop was all about. I mean seriously, what were those lyrics supposed to mean?

C.C.: Maybe next time.

Other SobekPundit Blogger Interviews:
John from WuzzaDem
Ace of Spades
Dave from Garfield Ridge
Oliver Willis

Next Week:
I dunno. We'll have to see if I can think of anything.