Still Pissed Off About the Hawley-Smoot Tariff

Monday, November 07, 2005

The Official SobekPundit Blogger Interview: Jack M.

Welcome to this week's (actually last week's) blogger interview. I'm joined by Noted Blog Celebrity Jack M., whom you may recognize from such blogs as All Along the Blogtower, Letters from Desolation Row, and Jack M. is the blogosphere's most reliable source for Ask Jack Thursday, updates on his on-going war against Iceland, commenter Michael making completely inappropriate comments, and LauraW griping about my content.

Sobek: Welcome, Jack, and thanks for taking some time out of your busy schedule to join me.

Jack: I don't know about this picture. Can we go with something else?

Sobek: Uh, I guess. How about this one?

Jack: Hmm. You're getting warmer, but it's still not quite right.

Sobek: Sheesh, what a prima donna you are. What do you think of this?

Jack: Now we're talking!

Sobek: I'm glad you like it. Now let's ...

Jack: I can strike a match on my leathery face. Which, of course, saves me all kinds of time when I'm lighting up a rich, smooth Marlboro Light in the ultra-masculine hard pack.

Sobek: ... I see ... Look, I don't mind if you pimp yourself out to Big Tobacco on other blogs, but let's try to keep it ...

Tobacco: Who pissed in your cornflakes, Scales?

Sobek: That's not the point. Criminy. Okay, so, let's get on with it, shall we? Jack, your readers rely on you to keep us apprised of the continuing threat by our Icelandic foes.

Jack: That's right. Even as we speak, those Thor-worshipping freaks are planning ...

Sobek: Here's the thing, Jack. I just find it interesting that you harbor such anger against the "Thor-worshippers," and yet you only answer questions from people on the day of the week named after him.

Jack: What!?!

Sobek: It's true.

Jack: Crap, that's, uh ...

Sobek: Jack, you're not fooling anyone. It's all been a ruse all along, hasn't it?

Jack: That's ridiculous!!!

Sobek: All the pieces fit.

Jack: Fine, I'll move it to Wednesday.

Sobek: Right, the day named after Odin. I'm seeing a pattern here, Jack.

Jack: It's not what you think!

Sobek: Uh huh. And then you moved to Hawai'i, demonstrating a curious interest in volcanic islands.

Jack: It was for work, I swear!

Sobek: Oh, I don't doubt that. But work ... FOR WHOM!!!

Jack: I'm being framed!

Sobek: Fortunately for our readers, I've devised the perfect test. First, I hired these two goons to tie you to a chair.

Jack: Hey! Let go of me!

Sobek: Now I'll just stuff these pieces of cotton into my ears ... like so.

Jack: This is an outrage!

Sobek: Now I've invited Bjork to recite the names of a few Icelandic cities. I think your reaction will tell us all we need to know.


Bjork: Hållø, Yack! Reykjavik. Kirkubaer. Kirkubaejarklaustur. Skaftafel.

Jack: Please God make it stop!

Bjork: Hjardarfell. Gufudalur. Laugardalur.

Jack: Sobek, I'm begging you!

Sobek: You appear to be suffering quite a bit, but we have to be certain. Bjork, take it to Phase 2, please.

Bjork: "Gling gló, klukkan sló,
máninn ofar skyum hló,
lysti upp gamli gótuslód,
thar gladleg Lína stód."

Jack: You're killing me!

Bjork: "Gling gló, klukkan sló,
máninn ofar skyum hló,
Leitar Lási var á leid,
til Lína hanns er beid."

Jack: ...

Sobek: ...

Jack: ...

Sobek: Huh. Well, it looks like I owe you an apology.

Jack: Damn straight!

Sobek: Come on, I'll get you some Band-aids.

Jack: And some Neosporin, please.

Sobek: And to make it up to you, I'll have Bjork killed.

Jack: It's the least you could do.

Sobek: I'm a giver, that way. Incidentally, you deserved everything you got for saying nice things about Horus the Stupid Budgie over on your blog. Lesson learned, I hope.

Other SobekPundit Blogger Interviews:
John from WuzzaDem
Ace of Spades
Dave from Garfield Ridge
Oliver Willis
The Therapist
Protein Wisdom

Next Week (by which I mean "later this week"):
Bohemian Conservative