Still Pissed Off About the Hawley-Smoot Tariff

Sunday, February 12, 2006

The Official SobekPundit Blogger Interview: Right Wing Sparkle

After a brief hiatus, the Official SobekPundit Blogger Interview is back! By request, this week I met with Right Wing Sparkle, a former Democrat (boo! hiss!) who became a Reaganite Republican (yeah!).

Sobek: Welcome, and thanks for joining me.

RWS: Thank you for having me.

Sobek: I, uh ... I don't mean to pry, but you seem a little down today. Is everything okay?

RWS: It's nothing.

Sobek: Are you sure?

RWS: Well, no, everything's not okay. Iran's going nuclear, people are rioting and killing each other over a bunch of cartoons, Republicans control the Congress but can't control spending, and for whatever reason, George Clooney has been allowed to live.

Sobek: Yeah, things could be worse ...

RWS: Worse? How could they be worse? Sometimes I wish I had never been born!

Sobek: Oh, don't say that.

RWS: I mean it.

Sobek: All right, it looks like I'm going to have to use my 4000-year-old crocodile god powers to show you how things would be if you had never been born.

RWS: Whoa, I'm gonna be sick.

Sobek: Yeah, dimension-shifting can do that. Okay, look at this:

RWS: What's that?

Sobek: The Nikkei. It's three points lower than if you had been born.

RWS: Uh ... well I guess that's kind of bad, but ...

Sobek: And look at this map of Colorado.

RWS: What about it?

Sobek: The capital city has been moved to Ft. Collins.

RWS: ...

Sobek: ...

RWS: You kind of suck at this.

Sobek: Okay, I didn't want to have to do this, but it's time to break out the big guns.

RWS: Where are we now?

Sobek: The White House.

RWS: Wait ... is that ... is that Al Sharpton?

Sobek: I'm afraid it is.


Sobek: It gets worse. Look at this:

RWS: It looks like half of Asia has been blown up.

Sobek: All things considered, I'd say the Nikkei is doing surprisingly well. Are you sure you wish you'd never been born?

RWS: How has my life prevented that from happening?

Sobek: Look. There are two important rules in life. Don't question Bruce Dickinson, and don't question SobekPundit.

RWS: Sorry.

Sobek: Well, we have one more thing to see.

RWS: Where are we going now?

Sobek: We're going to your husband's house.

RWS: Well if I don't exist, he's not my husband, right?

Sobek: What did I just say about questioning Bruce SobekPundit?

RWS: Sorry.

Sobek: Look, there through the window.

RWS: It's my husband.

Sobek: Exactly. But he's not your husband. Let's take a closer look. Look who he married instead:


Sobek: I think you mean "I wish I were born."

RWS: Whatever.

Sobek: Okay, back we go. I hope you've learned an important lesson.

RWS: I have. Thank you so much, Sobek.

Sobek: Boo yeah. Got my wings, baby.

Other SobekPundit Blogger Interviews:
John from WuzzaDem
Ace of Spades
Dave from Garfield Ridge
Oliver Willis
The Therapist
Protein Wisdom
Jack M.
Bohemian Conservative
Michelle Malkin
Jennifer from Demure Thoughts

Next Week:
Six Meat Buffet