The Official SobekPundit Blogger Interview: Right Wing Sparkle

After a brief hiatus, the Official SobekPundit Blogger Interview is back! By request, this week I met with Right Wing Sparkle, a former Democrat (boo! hiss!) who became a Reaganite Republican (yeah!).




Sobek: Welcome, and thanks for joining me.




RWS: Thank you for having me.




Sobek: I, uh ... I don't mean to pry, but you seem a little down today. Is everything okay?




RWS: It's nothing.




Sobek: Are you sure?




RWS: Well, no, everything's not okay. Iran's going nuclear, people are rioting and killing each other over a bunch of cartoons, Republicans control the Congress but can't control spending, and for whatever reason, George Clooney has been allowed to live.




Sobek: Yeah, things could be worse ...




RWS: Worse? How could they be worse? Sometimes I wish I had never been born!




Sobek: Oh, don't say that.




RWS: I mean it.




Sobek: All right, it looks like I'm going to have to use my 4000-year-old crocodile god powers to show you how things would be if you had never been born.




RWS: Whoa, I'm gonna be sick.




Sobek: Yeah, dimension-shifting can do that. Okay, look at this:









RWS: What's that?




Sobek: The Nikkei. It's three points lower than if you had been born.




RWS: Uh ... well I guess that's kind of bad, but ...




Sobek: And look at this map of Colorado.









RWS: What about it?




Sobek: The capital city has been moved to Ft. Collins.




RWS: ...




Sobek: ...




RWS: You kind of suck at this.




Sobek: Okay, I didn't want to have to do this, but it's time to break out the big guns.




RWS: Where are we now?




Sobek: The White House.









RWS: Wait ... is that ... is that Al Sharpton?




Sobek: I'm afraid it is.




RWS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!




Sobek: It gets worse. Look at this:









RWS: It looks like half of Asia has been blown up.




Sobek: All things considered, I'd say the Nikkei is doing surprisingly well. Are you sure you wish you'd never been born?




RWS: How has my life prevented that from happening?




Sobek: Look. There are two important rules in life. Don't question Bruce Dickinson, and don't question SobekPundit.




RWS: Sorry.




Sobek: Well, we have one more thing to see.




RWS: Where are we going now?




Sobek: We're going to your husband's house.




RWS: Well if I don't exist, he's not my husband, right?




Sobek: What did I just say about questioning Bruce SobekPundit?




RWS: Sorry.




Sobek: Look, there through the window.









RWS: It's my husband.




Sobek: Exactly. But he's not your husband. Let's take a closer look. Look who he married instead:









RWS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I TAKE IT BACK!!! I WISH I WAS BORN!!!




Sobek: I think you mean "I wish I were born."




RWS: Whatever.




Sobek: Okay, back we go. I hope you've learned an important lesson.




RWS: I have. Thank you so much, Sobek.




Sobek: Boo yeah. Got my wings, baby.


Other SobekPundit Blogger Interviews:
John from WuzzaDem
Ace of Spades
Dave from Garfield Ridge
Oliver Willis
The Therapist
SondraK
Protein Wisdom
VodkaPundit
Jack M.
Bohemian Conservative
Michelle Malkin
Jennifer from Demure Thoughts

Next Week:
Six Meat Buffet