Still Pissed Off About the Hawley-Smoot Tariff

Saturday, July 15, 2006

The Official SobekPundit Blogger Interview: Mr. Twisted

I've invited Mr. Twisted, from A Twisted Sense of Funny, not just for a blogger interview, but also to conduct bizarre scientific experiments that probably bend all kinds of ethics rules. All in the name of entertaining you, the reader. So let's welcome Mr. Twisted.

Mr. Twisted: Hi. Um ... did you just say something about "bizarre scientific experiments"?

Sobek: I don't think I did. Here, put this bra on your head.

Mr. Twisted: What? Hey, I'm not so sure about this...

Sobek: Look, getting an Official SobekPundit Blogger Interview can be a career-defining moment. Are you willing to throw away that chance?

Mr. Twisted: ...

Sobek: That's what I thought. And besides, the odds are pretty low that you'll have an alien burst through your chest, or something.

Mr. Twisted: Okay, so now what?

Sobek: I'm sure you noticed that we're both wearing bras on our heads, and that the room is full of lit candles. You'll also notice I've rigged up an early 1980s computer, a 24kb dial-up modem, and a little doll.

Mr. Twisted: I had, in fact, noticed that.

Sobek: I want to see what happens when we use my computer to make a perfect woman.

Mr. Twisted: You mean like in Wierd Sc-

Sobek: Federal copyright laws forbid me from letting you complete that question. Now while I hack into NORAD and the Pentagon, I need you to babble incoherently.

Mr. Twisted: Uh, okay. "Oogey boogey."

Sobek: ...

Mr. Twisted: What?

Sobek: That was easily the gayest incoherent babbling I've ever heard. Want to try again?

Mr. Twisted: Sure. Freeeeeeeeebitidy bloomp clupa dupa shimmmmmmmmmmmmm-DANG gleeb!!!

Sobek: Much better.

Mr. Twisted: Glibbity bop! Jim jim jimjimhimnimbimfimmmmm...

Sobek: Perfect.

Mr. Twisted: Sheeba sheeba. If Israel didn't exist, there would be peace in the Middle East.

Sobek: What?

Mr. Twisted: Increased taxes on the wealthy have no negative impact on the economy. Human activity can be definitvely linked to global warming.

Sobek: I said "incoherent babbling," not "idiotic babbling."

Mr. Twisted: Sorry.

Sobek: Anyway, we're all done. All I have to do is press this button:

Sobek: ...

Mr. Twisted: ...

Sobek: ...

Mr. Twisted: Well?

Sobek: We're all done.

Mr. Twisted: Did it work? I thought there was supposed to be, like, wind, and an earthquake, and all kinds of crazy damage and destruction and crap like that.

Sobek: Nope.

Mr. Twisted: That's how it happened in the mov...

Sobek: Again, for purposes of federal copyright law, I'm not allowed to let you finish that sentence. Anyway, according to the computer, it worked.

Mr. Twisted: So where's the "perfect woman" we created?

Sobek: Ah. Well, here's the thing about that whole "perfect woman" deal. It turns out I made a slight error.

Mr. Twisted: Don't tell me you forgot the doll.

Sobek: No, I remembered the doll, in a manner of speaking. The problem is that I don't have any Barbie dolls, so I had to use whatever I could find lying around the house.

Mr. Twisted: Which was?

Sobek: This Madeline Albright doll that I fused onto this Admiral Akbar action figure.

Madeline Akbar: Hey there, Mr. Twisted! You're cute!


Sobek: I think she likes you.

Mr. Twisted: Get her away from me!!!

Madeline Akbar: Let's find a quiet place somewhere and discuss Clinton-era foreign policy, sugar-lips.

Mr. Twisted: For the love of everything holy and decent! Help me, Sobek!

Sobek: Well, I was planning on starting the interview, but it seems you two have a lot to talk about, and I'd just feel like a third wheel.

Madeline Akbar: Kiss me, Twisted. I still have the taste of Kim Jong Il in my mouth.


Sobek: What a cute couple.

Mr. Twisted: I'm serious, Sobek, this is not funny. Keep that thing away from me.

Sobek: Dude, I think you're hurting her feelings.

Madeline Akbar: That's it. See how you like this:

Mr. Twisted: AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!! This is the worst blogger interview ever!

Sobek: Don't worry, it should wear off in a couple of hours. And actually, this was the worst blogger interview ever.

Other SobekPundit Blogger Interviews:
John from WuzzaDem
Ace of Spades
Dave from Garfield Ridge
Oliver Willis
The Therapist
Protein Wisdom
Jack M.
Bohemian Conservative
Michelle Malkin
Jennifer from Demure Thoughts
Right Wing Sparkle
Six Meat Buffet
Llama Butchers
7 Deadly Sins
Are You Conservative?

Next Week:
Who am I kidding? I think it's time to end the charade that this is a weekly thing.