Memes: An Excellent Substitute for Content
Via the Llamabutchers.
1. Beatles, Stones or Beach Boys? Probably Beach Boys. They were the first concert I ever saw, so that counts for something.
2. Kant, Hegel, Marx? Unless we're talking about which I would most like to beat over the head (Marx), I'll pass.
3. Cluedo, Monopoly, Scrabble? Scrabble. It requires more, you know, actual thought than Monopoly, and I've never heard of Cluedo.
4. Paul Newman, Jack Nicholson, Robert Redford? Probably Newman. I loved Redford in Sneakers. Jack Nicholson is too hit-and-miss.
5. Bach, Beethoven, Mozart? Beethoven. Mozart is too foofy, and I don't know Bach well enough for him to compete.
6. Australia, Canada, New Zealand? Australia and New Zealand are tied.
7. Groucho, Chico, Harpo? Yeah, like I'm old enough to know the Marx Brothers? I'll go with Groucho, because he's the only one I can identify.
8. Morning, afternoon, evening? Evening.
9. Bridge, Canasta, Poker? None of the above. I suck at cards.
10. Fargo, The Big Lebowski, O Brother, Where Art Thou? Fargo. Never seen Big Lebowski.
11. Hobbes, Locke, Rousseau? Locke.
12. Cricket, football (soccer), rugby? None of the above.
13. Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, Emily Bronte? Jane Austen's the only one I've read, so I'll go with her.
14. Parker, Gillespie, Monk? As cool as it would be to be a jazz afficionado, I don't know. But I hear Monk was freakin' nuts, and that's a plus, so I'll go with Monk.
15. Arsenal, Chelsea, Tottenham? I care about English soccer as much as I care about English cuisine.
16. Cheers, Friends, Seinfeld? Seinfeld. Never cared about Friends, and Cheers isn't fresh enough in my memory. But I did like that show.
17. Henry Fonda, Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart? Stewart. Pure Americana.
18. France, Germany, Italy? Italy. No contest.
19. Apple, orange, banana? Depends on the day. My one food preference is to always try something new, so I couldn't stand having to pick just one.
20. Statham, Tyson, Trueman? Huh? Is this about boxing?
21. Rio Bravo, El Dorado, Rio Lobo? Never seen any of them.
22. Katharine Hepburn, Meryl Streep, Ingrid Bergman? Bergman. 'Cept she's a tramp.
23. Chinese, Indian, Thai? Indian by far.
24. Handel, Scarlatti, Vivaldi? Vivaldi. I don't know Scarlatti, and Handel is way too heavy on the trumpets. Exception: the Messiah.
25. Oasis, Radiohead, Blur? They're all kind of "eh" for me. I like Blur's Song 2 and nothing else by them, I like maybe three or four Radiohead songs, and I liked most of Oasis' What's the Story Morning Glory album until I learned what a punk the singer dude is. Still, given the choices, I guess I'll go with Oasis.
26. Fawlty Towers, The Young Ones, Yes Minister? Never seen any of them.
27. Chekhov, Ibsen, Shaw? Chekhov.
28. American football, baseball, basketball? None of the above.
29. FDR, JFK, Bill Clinton? FDR. And to quote Robbo, "This is a serious choice?"
30. Lenin, Luxemburg, Trotsky? Again, unless this means "to beat over the head with one of their victims," I'll have to pass.
31. Paris, Rome, New York? Roma. No contest.
32. Fitzgerald, Hemingway, Steinbeck? Steinbeck. I've never read Fitzgerald. Hemmingway is hit-and-miss for me. I've liked everything Steinbeck has done.
33. Blue, green, red? Green. But dark green, not pansy lime green.
34. Guys and Dolls, My Fair Lady, West Side Story? West Side Story. Never seen Guys and Dolls (other than on the Simpsons), and WSS edges out MFL because there's more violence.
35. J.S. Mill, John Rawls, Robert Nozick? I've never read any of 'em.
36. Armstrong, Ellington, Goodman? Pass.
37. Ireland, Scotland, Wales (at rugby)? Pass.
38. The Sopranos, 24, Six Feet Under? Never seen any of them. I've heard Six Feet Under is about a bunch of whiny, screechy existentialists who need to be put down. I made a parody of 24 that people really liked, so I'll go with that.
39. Friday, Saturday, Sunday? Friday. Time enough to work and be productive, and time enough to stay up late and goof off, with all of Saturday ahead.
40. Hamlet, Macbeth, King Lear? Hamlet. Never read King Lear.
41. Fried, boiled, scrambled (eggs)? Scrambled, with salsa mixed in while the eggs are still raw (huevos rancheros). Ooh, baby.
42. Paths of Glory, Cross of Iron, Saving Private Ryan? Never seen any of 'em.
43. England, Australia, West Indies (at cricket)? Pass.
44. Chabrol, Godard, Truffaut? Who?
45. Bringing It All Back Home, Blonde on Blonde, Blood on the Tracks? I saw in Robbo's comments that these are names of Bob Dylan albums, so I could have faked my way through this in order not to offend Jack M., but I have to confess I haven't heard any of them.
46. Trains, planes, automobiles? Planes, unless I have fun people with whom I can road trip.
47. North By Northwest, Psycho, Vertigo? Never seen Psycho. I'll go with Vertigo.
48. Third, Fourth, Fifth (Beethoven Piano Concerto)? Fifth. I don't know the other two.
49. Coffee, tea, chocolate? Chocolate.
50. Cardiff, Edinburgh, Dublin? Pass.