Still Pissed Off About the Hawley-Smoot Tariff

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Beat the Cripple

Hans Bricks did a post about a week ago, linking a story about a Japanese Retard Wrestling. That reminded me of a game called "Beat the Cripple."

As part of my on-going responsibility to keep the public abreast of wacky sports (see, for example, my report on He-Man Croquet), I present the official rules for Beat the Cripple, a game invented by some buddies of mine back in High School.

You need four people for this game. One person sits in a wheelchair. This person is "the cripple." One person gets a broomstick. One gets three tennis balls. One gets an empty, plastic 2-liter bottle. These three people are the cripple-beaters.

The way the game works is, the cripple-beaters get to, well, they get to beat the cripple. More specifically, the guy with the broomstick can only use his weapon to go between the spokes of the wheelchair, while the other two beat the cripple. The cripple's goal is to steal one of the three weapons from one of the cripple-beaters. If the cripple succeeds, that cripple-beater then becomes the cripple, and the cripple becomes the cripple-beater.

The game ends when one or more players lose consciousness.

Good times, man. Good times.