Still Pissed Off About the Hawley-Smoot Tariff

Saturday, August 13, 2005

He-Man Croquet

Last month during a family reunion, I learned how to play He-Man Croquet. Now I feel I have an ethical responsibility to introduce the goodness that is He-Man Croquet to the world.

Basically, the rules are just the same as in regular croquet. But instead of normal croquet balls, you use bowling balls. Instead of little wooden posts, you use rebar (and if you have the means, bent pieces of rebar for wickets, but regular wickets will go if they're big enough). And instead of regular croquet mallets, you use A FREAKIN SLEDGE HAMMER, BABY!!! Considering my generally sedentary lifestyle, my arms hurt a lot afterwards. But it was so worth it. The only problem is that my brother-in-law won, and now I have to wait until next summer for a rematch. Chump. See, that's part of the reason I just don't like that guy very much.

By the power of Greyskull, if you hit my ball again I'll feed you to Cringer!