The "Who Do You Think You Are?" Quiz

Frank J stopped cleaning his pistol long enough to come up with the following quiz. You can find his answers here.

THE "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" BLOGGER QUIZ
1. Who the hell do you think you are?

I am Sobek Pundit, son of Neith, a crocodile-headed Egyptian deity responsible for devouring people who piss me off. I was worshipped mostly in the Faiyum region of Egypt, but since that gig kind of died down, I'm now worshipped in the blogosphere. Also, I'm studying law, to pass the time between devourings.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?

I make silly photoshops of Mr. Potato Head and read. Mostly I read law, but I read classic literature to keep my snob-factor up.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?

I started undergrad as a journalism major, and then realized my ability to think critically disqualified me for the job. Other than that, I wrote a feature for my High School paper about paintballing. I was censored for using the word "hell."

4. Do you even read newspapers?

I like Garfield. That is one fat kitty.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?

If I had a TV, I would only watch PBS (again, for snobbishness reasons). Also, the Simpsons. Does the Simpsons count as news?

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?

Occasionally. My favorite is Neal Boortz. He is a vicious S.O.B.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?

No, the Republican Party communicates with me, as per my instructions, by writing coded messages on papyrus, delivered by a kid in an Ibis-headed mask who I call "Thoth."

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?

I don't want to silence them. I prefer when they make noise, so I can find and devour them.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?

SOBEK NEEDS NO PASSPORT! SOBEK TRAVELS THE CELESTIAL WATERS IN A BARK MADE FROM HUMAN SKIN!

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?

Does Egypt count? Also, Canada, Italy, Mexico, and a nightmarish layover in Austria.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?

The U.S. armed forces don't make helmets that fit a crocodile's head.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?

Not as such, no, but I did help Isis gather the scattered parts of her husband, Osiris. Let me tell you, by the time I found his severed head at the bottom of the Nile, it had been water-logged for days. "Pile of goo" doesn't even come close to describing what that was like. I told Isis to hook up with someone else, but no, she stuck with Osiris. Whatever.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?

MY DIVINE MANDIBLES WILL TURN YOU INTO A PILE OF GOO, INSOLENT SLAVE!

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!

I am Sobek Pundit, son of Neith. I'm ready to get my snack on.