Still Pissed Off About the Hawley-Smoot Tariff

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Is the Democrat Party Constitutional?

Is the Democrat Party Unconstitutional?

Of course it is. You just have to read the Constitution the way a liberal does. Article IV, section 4 of the Constitution requires that "The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government..."

Now wait a second, Mrs. Hypothetical Liberal says (we’ll call her "Shrillery," for short), Sobek is playing word games.

Sobek: How so?

Shrillery: Being a smart, if vicious, crocodile, assuredly you know that’s not what the framers meant when they used the word "Republican!"

Sobek: Pardon me, but since when do you care what the framers thought?

Shrillery: Bush lied!

You see, folks, if you’re going to insist that the Constitution be a "living, breathing" document, so that the words "equal protection" are to be interpreted as they mean today rather than in the 1800s, then our same rule of "living, breathing" construction means that the word "Republican" is to be interpreted by today’s standards. And frankly, there’s no way today’s liberals would use the word "Republican" to describe themselves, and therefore they are barred by the Constitution from playing any role in government.

Shrillery: Ah, but you are committing a grave error of logic!

Sobek: How so?

Shrillery: You are assuming, falsely and without any evidence, that liberals use the phrase ‘living, breathing" with any kind of consistency.

Sobek: Touche’. Never mind, then.