Still Pissed Off About the Hawley-Smoot Tariff

Monday, July 26, 2004

John Kerry Implicated in Secret Tests on Extra-Terrestrial Life-Forms!

Reports indicate that as Mr. Kerry, presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, emerged from the top-secret laboratory, a plaintive cry was heard coming from inside, saying "Eliooooooooooootttttt...."  Although the shrieks of pain made all reporters present cringe, Mr. Kerry couldn't stop smiling sadistically.