Still Pissed Off About the Hawley-Smoot Tariff

Monday, November 01, 2004

More from the "Sacha is on Crack" File

Don't get me wrong - I like Sacha. He's a nice guy. So when I say he's on crack, it's not in any kind of mean-spirited way. I tell my wife she'e on crack all the time.

That said, Sacha Boegem is clearly on crack. From his latest article in Dicta:

"It's a stunning indictment of Bush's leadership that millions of Americans have concluded that they would be better off with Mickey Mouse as president [sic] than with him." [Editor's note - it's customary to capitalize the word President when referring to our nation's highest executive office].

No Sacha, it's a stunning indictment of your tenuous hold on reality that you think you would be better off with Mickey Mouse as President. Mickey Mouse does not really exist. I'm sorry to be the one to break that to you. Your parents should have given you the talk, but now it seems to have fallen on my shoulders. Mickey Mouse if a fictional character (or, to borrow a "Mooreism," he is a fictition).

Let me first say, since you have just publicly allied yourself with the Anybody But Bush ideology, that I'm shocked you would elect Adolph Hitler over Bush. Also on your list would be South Louisiana serial killer Derrick Todd Lee, Attorney General John Aschcroft, Vice President Dick Cheney, Carrot Top, Barney (both the dinosaur and Fife), my infant son, Saddam Hussein, Big Bird, Moses, Charo, 80's synth-pop group Soft Cell, Jar-Jar Binks, and Brainy Smurf.

In other words, Sacha Boegem Supports John Ashcroft for President!

I'm glad that's settled. I'm sure the Attorney General will be glad to have your support.

Of course, the natural response is "I don't literally mean anybody but Bush. It's a figure of speech." Keep in mind, however, that this stance completely vitiates the rhetorical force of your "stunning indictment" against Bush. If millions of Americans really don't think Mickey Mouse would be better than Bush, then your point is nothing but bloviating rhetoric. If they really do think Mickey Mouse would be better than Bush, then they should not have the right to vote, because they are clearly insane. I do not want people who, like yourself until a few minutes ago, are not aware that Mickey Mouse is a "fictition."

Then again, considering the Left's propensity to call for Bush's death, commit crimes (such as distribution of a controlled substance (crack), attempted vehicular homicide, theft, breaking and entering, and discharging a firearm within city limits), ignore the historical failures of Communism in the U.S.S.R., North Korea, Cuba, Vietnam and Central America, and take Michael Moore seriously, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised that so many of you are still in the dark about Mickey Mouse.

I'm sorry. Reality can be tough.